Today at the lake it was cold. Sunny but cold. The air was cold. The water was cold.
I had to put my face in and out about five times to acclimate. But I was in a rush because it was after 5pm when I started, so I got on with it and swam south and east. The water was not flat but was gently wavy. It didn’t impact my swimming so much, but it made it harder to float because little waves would splash into my mouth. I hate that.
The Lake
So I just swam out and back. I’d set my alarm for 20 minutes, and I wanted to swim out far enough that the alarm would go off on my way back in. I noticed that I was swimming in a sunbeam tunnel. I was angled to me, but I kept swimming toward the up end, the sun.
The cool thing about swimming in the tunnel, aside from the light in the still murky lake water, is that I didn’t have to sight. The sun was on my right and stayed that way. I didn’t dawdle or meditate or try to send love through the sides of the different colored edges of the tunnel beam. I just wanted to swim out. Today I wanted exercise.
I needed to move, but I also wanted to get out of my head. I hate it in there. So many questions, lists, feelings. So much confusion, fatigue, frustration. Shut the F up. Swim. Swim. Swim. Stay in my lane, which is the sunbeam tunnel.
The sunbeam was angled enough that I was kind of swimming in it and though it. Every stroke, and every time I pulled up site, the beam was still there when I moved forward. What it following me or was I following it. Or more like how the planets have an orbit. I was in the sunbeam orbit and going to enjoy the ride.
The water is so poopy right now. I don’t like it. I can’t see the bottom. I supposed I should learn about the lake, its ecology, its seasons, what it needs, how it changes. That would be the smart thing to do. Maybe I will Google it later. Probably I won’t. Because I am still struggling with depression and the most overwhelming feeling/thought is: “I don’t care.” So, that’s how I’m gonna rationalize not learning.
The Gear
Didn’t bother bringing my video cam today because I was in such a hurry to catch the sun before it set.
I have a new camera setup anyway. I bought a waterproof case for my iPhone SE, then I put it in a leakproof pouch. Check out the weird effects, light, and images in today’s photos–caused by taking photos with the phone inside the pouch. My plan is to use this phone as my camera. With both a shell case and a pouch, I can swim with the phone around my neck. Then my fancy new iPhone 12 will become my phone. She can stay in the car while I swim.
It was crazy cold when I got out of the water. Brutal cold wind. I felt burny cold all over. I shuffled to my car—left the lights on again—just as B and R arrived. YEA. So I got to talk to them while I transitioned into my warm gear.
The People
I love my park friends. It’s so nice to simply run into people. Like we are on the same wavelength, both needing to be at this special place. Everything and everyone is so scheduled. At the park everything seems free and easy. People walk, run, play with their dogs, swim, ride bikes. Parks!!!!!
OK. I have to go. I am cold! Need to make some chocy oatmeal and get unto my baggy sweater.
Thank you for getting your info out to me Erika. I want to say I am awestruck with your tenacity. Taking you health into the mental, physical and spiritual realms instead of compartmentalizing it is an adventure. It allows us to be able to see it as part of self but for me most importantly to be able to see the ebb and flow and reduce fear and judgement of ourselves. Bravo/Brava!!